he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
