im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
