Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize