are you still at the devil's house?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
