I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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