Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
