Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
