wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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