You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
