would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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