I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
