porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
