My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
