Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
