He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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