PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
