4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
