Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
