There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
