yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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