well I can't set my house on fire every night
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We have started to decorate penises.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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