hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
