@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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