Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
