Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
