i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
