jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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