So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
