"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize