I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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