Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
