Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
