just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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