It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
