I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
