dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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