final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
