BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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