Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
