I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
