a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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