We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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