I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
