I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
