we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
