I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my shit smells like andre
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
