I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
