Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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