This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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