All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize