i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
