Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
