note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
did i just pee glitter
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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