1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
