Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Do you still have your period?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.

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(602): View more from Arizona

UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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(937): View more from Ohio

That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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(718): View more from New York

i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.

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(253): View more from Washington

I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.

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