doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
