Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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