dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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